Islamic State in Conversation with the Rest of the World

 

Angry Muslim Man 2

IS

“You must do as we ask, for our God is the only God and his word cannot be opposed.”

ROW

“Okay then … what would you like us to do?”

IS

“Oh!…em, sorry we weren’t expecting you to agree with us.”

ROW

“Of course we agree, you seem so certain.”

IS

“Well first off, denounce your Western capitalist ways.”

ROW

“Alright then.”

IS

“No more art, films, poetry, music, …or fun, everyone must live as we live, in tents, simple food, goats for pillows and no toilet paper … toilet paper is against the word of God!”

ROW

“Fair enough, we’ve torn down our cities and our homes, we’ve burnt all the books and art and icons and all the bog roll is gone … we’ll miss that the most, but don’t want to upset God.”

IS

“Good.”

ROW

“What’s next?”

IS

“Every man must have a beard.”

ROW

You might have to give some of us a couple of days on that … bye bye Gillette company!”

IS

“Good, now all women must be uneducated and cover their shame.”

ROW

“Right so, no schools for girls, check, …what is their shame exactly?”

IS

“Pretty much all of them …except their eyes, … no wait, one of the boys says their eyes reminds him of sex, so full burkas and shades, in fact tell them not to leave the tent at all.”

ROW

“Fair enough. What now?”

IS

“You must follow all of the doctrines of the Koran.”

ROW

“What about the stuff that makes no sense or is contradictory? …like the Torah or the Bible is too?”

IS

“You must obey that stuff too!! … Twice as hard if it contradicts something else in the Koran.”

ROW

“Okay so, well, we’ll give it go, the Jews and Christians have been getting away with for centuries so why not.  What else?”

IS

“You must kill all homosexuals and sexual deviants.”

ROW

“All of them?”

IS

“Yes, all of the them!”

“Even my brother-in-law Terry, he’s married to a really nice bloke from Italy, they’ve got three young adopted kids?”

IS

“Especially your brother-in-law Terry!!!!”

ROW

“Alright, I’ll let him know.”

IS

“He must be stoned.”

ROW

“He’s not been that since the 70’s.”

IS

“Not that kinda stoned.”

ROW

“Oh sorry, we see what you mean.”

IS

“We believe that the end of the world is coming, God shall wipe the world clean.”

ROW

“Nice.”

IS

“Not really, everyone must die.”

ROW

“If you think so.”

BANG!

Silence

IS

“Are you there? people of the world …. Hello … we’re lonely now.”

 

#satire

 

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