#comedy #fantasy novel
There is no sure-fire way of getting Botolf-almost-Oxford students into a lecture. Many methods have been and are employed, creatively shall we say, by the teaching staff of the college over the years.
The Head of Megalithic Scrutiny, for example, resorted to ambushing his prey (students) in their dorm rooms, making sure to lock the doors, bar the windows and block the chimneys (in an operation that took as much time and effort as the D-day landings) before commencing on the first of his eighty-eight lectures on the Dullness of Geology to Post Ice-age Mankind in Northern Europe.
In 1868, a tired and bored Vice-Chancellor of Dragon Lore resorted to subliminal lecturing. Unfortunately the experiment wasn’t a success, but the late Vice-Chancellor is noted in the history books as the inventor of alphabetti-spaghetti.
The current Interim Professor of Greek Illogical Thought went even further in his pursuit of the academic impartation of knowledge. He locked a group of final year students in the college cellar with his notes, books and little to eat except a wheel of cheddar cheese and some stale bread. When he finally released his students, after several days, his expectation of thesis success turned to dismay as he read papers on: ‘The art of cheese making’, ‘How to avoid cannibalism in a tight spot’, ‘How not to avoid cannibalism in a tight spot’, and ‘Cheese, A live Culture and Nature’s substitute for friends.’ The Professor didn’t give many firsts that year.
Part I & II of the Botolf Chronicles